Okay, let's talk about cartoon labels for half a second - some people think anything with a dog or a car or a colorful alien is garbage, which is not true. Look at Big...

People generally complain that they're overburdened by responsibilities, forgetting that they chose to have those responsibilities. No one makes you work like a dog in or...

We should be licensing everybody with a gun. I have to have a license for my dog. I have to have a license for my car. If you're going to do my hair lat...

There are writers, and I know some of them, who are very disciplined. Who write, like, four pages a day, every day. And it doesn't matter if their dog got run over...

In America the schools have become too permissive, the kids now are controlling the schools, the tail is wagging the dog. We've got to make a change...

I have never met a dog I couldn't help; however, I have met huma...

Most Americans acquire dogs impulsively and for dubious reasons: as a Christmas gift for the kids. Because they saw one in a movie. To match the new living-room f...

I like animals. I like people who like animals. I hate people who love animals to the point they lose their sense of reason. I'm talking the 'my com...

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consum...

I've tried word processors, but I think I'm to...

I'm cool with the way I look, I'm not an ugly dog, but I don't s...

Most of an award-show host's job is showing up and keeping a cool head and soldiering through it, whether it's...